


Walkies

by Ourliazo



Series: A Brief Foray [8]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Flames, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Gen, Twisted Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 05:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17656484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ourliazo/pseuds/Ourliazo
Summary: Reborn takes his zombies on walks during the apocalypse.





	Walkies

Reborn is wandering around in the apocalypse, dragging a large case of guns and extra ammo behind him. It makes a lot of noise, but that's fine.

The zombies are generally slow and move awkwardly - unless they were athletes and had greater muscle definition, but either way, they're no match for a hitman. Most normal people can take down a few even at the same time, which means several large safe zones have been set up early on.

The devastation lay in the fact that a great majority of the human population turned in the first wave without having to be bitten. Bad genetics, Reborn thinks.

The hitman passes through the empty streets and pauses when he finds a particularly stupid zombie stuck waist deep in a manhole. The cover is off due to electrical repairs, or so the bright yellow sign next to the zombie says.

The zombie glances over when Reborn walks up and it tries to move towards the hitman but just kind of bumps into the pit's side and pouts because it doesn't have the co-ordination to climb up.

It has bright purple hair and bright purple leather clothes, the kind motorbike riders wear for safety. It also has more piercings on it's face than Reborn can count at first glance and heavy purple make-up.

It should not look cute.

It's still pouting up at him.

Reborn leaves and returns shortly with a muzzle and leash from a nearby pet store because he does need someone to drag his heavy gun case around.

Reborn calls him Mort, French for death, because he thinks it's funny.

He wanders around with Mort, making sure to wipe the zombie's face after a meal, and sometimes ducks into make-up stores to keep his pet's lipstick and eyeliner proper.

It's from a sense of decency – after all, Reborn would hate it if he lost his hat or someone decided they would dress him up without a suit. Plus, Reborn kind of likes the aesthetic his zombie has going, it works for Mort.

Showers are awkward but hygiene is important and Reborn is not walking around with something that quite literally smells like a corpse. Not that he isn't used to dealing with corpses but it's the principle of the matter.

He takes care of Mort and Mort carries his stuff. It's a wonderful relationship.

Then Reborn gets more stuff because he has a zombie now, but his zombie isn't exactly the strongest so the extras slow them down.

Maybe he could get another one?

He observes from a rooftop as a dark blue haired woman drags a tall blond zombie out of an army truck. She kicks the blond's legs out from under him and ties his already bound hands to a light pole so he can't eat her.

She points a gun at the blond but hesitates for a long moment. She hisses out a vicious curse and drops the arm, turning away and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

She takes a moment to calm herself. Then she glances at the tall blond one last time before getting into the army van and leaving.

Reborn trots down the building's stairs and peers at the blond in interest. In army cammo, tall, strong, a bit violent but that's easily fixed. He moves very well for a zombie. Reborn hasn't seen such co-ordination since that gymnast tried to run him down.

Reborn finds another leash and muzzle for his newest zombie.

Blondie needs training, far more that Mort did. The uniform means he's a colonel, so Reborn calls him Col. Reborn likes Col because the man can carry much more than Mort.

One day, Reborn ties Mort and Col to a traffic light and enters the corner café for some Espresso. It's a small place and there's only one exit, so when a small horde of zombies burst in, Reborn gets cornered.

Col breaks free of his leash and joins the mob. At first, Reborn thinks Col will try to eat him, and feels that it's a pity he has to kill the blond, but Col attacks the zombies instead.

Correction; Col  _decimates_  the zombies.

Reborn feeds Col extra meat that night. Then he feeds Mort some more too because Mort has learned his pout has devastating results.

Reborn runs into a tall green haired man next, when Reborn brakes into a famous national laboratory to get in and hopefully steal some clues as to the outbreak. Reborn finds lots of machines and a new pet scientist.

He calls him Vert, for the zombie's green hair. Vert also has some interesting info on zombies, mostly how people change. He also theorised that zombies could relearn fine motor control if they get enough sustenance.

Reborn is far ahead of this info. Mort is already saying Reborn's name (sort of, he can mumble the 'born' part), and Mort can also fetch on command.

Vert has a really long reach since he's a whole head taller than Reborn. This means Reborn doesn't have to climb on store shelves to reach the very top. Also, if it's really cold, he can hide in Vert's lab coat.

It's definitely worth the extra humans Reborn has to hunt down and cut into pieces for his pets.

So Reborn wanders around with three zombies.

Then he finds a Chinese man drenched in red, a vicious zombie who moves smoothly and fast, far quicker than other zombies, beyond even the best human limits. Just from observing it, Reborn thinks even he might struggle.

Reborn tries to hide but Mort stumbles into an overturned shopping trolley and the sound of clanging metal attracts the advanced zombie.

It attacks and Reborn tries to defend but while Reborn is faster, the zombie is stronger.

Reborn gets thrown through a brick wall and lands on a piece of twisted rebar. The metal pole goes straight his stomach and he passes out to the image of his three pets tackling the zombie to the ground.

Reborn wakes in a makeshift clinic two weeks later, his injury patched up. There's a woman there, Yuni, who tells him that he was found outside alone. She sounds apologetic that there's no pain medication for him, but she's also lying. Reborn gets it, he's a stranger, why would they waste that precious medication on him?

It still hurts like a bitch though.

He waves it off and hauls himself up, walking over to where his clothes are piled up to dress himself and get rid of the hospital gown. He gets shown around the small safe zone, only a few blocks in size, and encounters a lot of zombies trapped in cages being experimented on.

He finds one wrapped in a cloak, hidden in a corner. Reborn steps forward and crouches low, peering at it.

It lets out a low growl which slowly turns to a rasp and then a hiss. Is it... trying to speak? Like Mort?

Reborn tilts his head. Taipan, Reborn decides, because of the hisses.

Reborn leaves that night, sneaking out the zombie with him. Since the others are gone, Reborn has to start up his pets again. Pity about his gun case though.

But when he gets out of the safe zone gates, he finds Col waiting for him only a few streets away. The blond turns and marches off.

Reborn blinks but follows along, dragging Taipan behind him by holding the zombie's hand. Taipan seems content to follow, though they do fiddle with Reborn's Rolex wristwatch the entire way there.

Col leads him to a house, set up just the way Reborn likes, with Mort and Vert and the Chinese zombie inside, seemingly waiting for him.

Well then.

Reborn calls the new zombie Feng, named after the Chinese word for wind, because damn that zombie can move. What the hell are they feeding them in China and can Reborn get some of that?

Mort groans, more like a whine, and flops over Reborn's lap when the hitman sits down on the couch. Reborn sighs. He'll grab someone in a bit, he just needs a break for now.

Reborn winces as he shifts. God, that hurts.

Vert staggers over and holds something out. Reborn blinks at the pain meds. He is...clearly underestimating his zombies' intelligence. To be fair, they still stumble more than they walk and their speech isn't anywhere close to understandable half the time.

Reborn takes the meds and hunts down a lone survivor for a meal. His zombies eat well, and as soon as Taipan gets a snack, they settle down immediately and instead start hoarding the money found in Reborn's gun case, left at the bottom and forgotten, plus anything in the house.

Reborn continues to wander, content with his zombies.

Reborn honestly doesn't even notice when Mort starts preferring Reborn's cooked meals rather than the raw human meat. Mort also begins chattering in full sentences. Col and Vert start talking soon after, mumbles of Reborn's name.

Vert especially has a mind for planning and picks out the best safe houses. Don't forget his numerous notepads all filled with random pen marks. Reborn thinks it's Vert messing around at first but then he realises it's all written in shorthand.

Reborn tells himself that he's still smarter than the zombie. He's not sure he believes it.

Feng quickly finds fine motor control, already half way there because of all the humans he devoured. Reborn catches him braiding his own hair in a fishtail, even seeming to go through katas when they make camp in abandoned houses.

Feng also decides he should reciprocate during shower time and tries to clean Reborn. Reborn is black and blue for a week because Feng does not know how to control his own strength.

Taipan still hisses but with different intonations, mostly annoyed but occasionally delighted when a particularly nice piece of jewellery comes into their reach. Taipan is very good at finding food and medication for Reborn, though they mostly bring back gold and drape it over the hitman as if he's a walking jewellery stand.

One day, Reborn startles awake as the door is kicked in by a swarm of army personnel. The blue haired woman Reborn saw over a year ago is in front, cornering Reborn and making the zombies step in front of him as protection.

She looks furious, which, yeah. If someone Reborn loved turned into a zombie, and then some guy came along and took the zombie as a pet, he'd be pretty pissed as well.

 _L…al_.

Col stares at her.

The blue haired woman freezes, as do the other soldiers. It should be impossible.

It's not like people are running around, feeding their own zombies, so Reborn can understand her confusion.

_Mi-missed y-ouuuu._

Lal chokes out Col's real name and rushes forward, grabbing the tall blond in a hug.

Col, wow, what a smooth operator. Reborn is proud of his baby. Reborn is especially proud of himself for almost getting Col's actual name right. Col sounds better though so the blond is just going to have to live with it.

The hitman does eventually have to grab her attention and explain his (and Vert's) eating theory.

He elaborates with how keeping them healthy in general may play a part, and Reborn constantly talks to them, makes them do repetitive tasks as a form of training, plus he's had Mort for two years now. It was not fast progress.

Lal offers to take them back to the large army base but they decline. She peers at Col and then at the soldiers who look disgusted or wary. Col is a zombie, after all, and everyone knows what a zombie eats.

She pulls Reborn aside, gives him a satellite phone and tells him to answer whenever she calls or she'll rip him apart. She doesn't want to leave Col but he'll honestly be safer here rather than at a safe zone where anyone can come across him easily. He definitely looks like a zombie after all.

Reborn gives his word.

Lal drops by every so often and Col regains more and more functionality in large bursts every time. Lal once walks in on them playing table tennis, Reborn thrashing them of course but Feng puts up quite the fight.

They still follow Reborn with unwavering loyalty even now, continuously wandering through empty streets and broken countries.

Reborn never does break the habit of making them all food, but good pets deserve to be pampered, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Other story lines within this one:
> 
> 1\. Xanxus turns in the first wave of the virus but what-the-fuck-ever, Varia ain't gonna give a shit, go find some people to feed to boss. Not like he acts any differently.
> 
> 2\. Australia is fine cuz it's too fucking far away from everything, including the initial outbreak.
> 
> 3\. Reborn also collects his students as pets. Neither of them are a zombie but that doesn't really matter to the hitman.
> 
> 4\. Lal occasionally kidnaps Reborn and throws him at high population density cities because if she has a hitman then she's going to use him.
> 
> 5\. Reborn literally just wanders around. That's all he does. Apparently Reborn needed an actual fucking apocalypse to satisfy his hunger for chaos so now he's just really mellow.
> 
> 6\. Shower time does not stop. Feng is pleased.
> 
> 7\. Bite-To-Death!Kyouya takes over the world and wipes out every last zombie with prejudice. Walkies!Reborn fucks around and murders people to feed his pet zombies.
> 
> 8\. I'm not saying Kyouya was altruistic when he did it but he's definitely a better person than Reborn.


End file.
